I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I did not marry a roomba.
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