walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize