his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
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