I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize