We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
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He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
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Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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