I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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