Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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