PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Randomize