i think my mom watched the whole time
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize