i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
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I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
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I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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