I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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