..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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