It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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