if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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