Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
All I want is dick and wine.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
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