I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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