I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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