Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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