We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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