I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize