you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
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How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
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I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize