I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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