We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize