Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
someone owes me an orgasm
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize