The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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