Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize