chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize