What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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