didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i don't like sucking hair
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize