ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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