He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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