Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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