if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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