i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize