...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
This baby is an asshole
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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