I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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