have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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