i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
babies were throwing up all over the place
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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