Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize