I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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