call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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