I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize