I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
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