I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have surprise drugs for everyone
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize