This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
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His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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