Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize