Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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