Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
soo... how was my night?
Randomize