I cut my penus on the lid.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
he's gonorrhea incarnate
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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