why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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