I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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