I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize